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| Front-side | Reverse-side |
|---|---|
| Adverbs and quantifiers need to to be kept on a three-inch leash. Watch for "almost" especially. Write positively—i.e. talk about what did happen. "He almost screamed" doesn’t tell me what he did do. Did he choke back a scream, bite it off, or did the scream come out as manic laughter? | Adverbs and quantifiers need to to be kept on a three-inch leash. Watch for "almost" especially. Write positively—i.e. talk about what did happen. "He almost screamed" doesn’t tell me what he did do. Did he choke back a scream, bite it off, or did the scream come out as manic laughter? |
| Avoid Logorrhea: Having something between two and a dozen words pull the weight of one. EX "Thinking back on her past, she remembered her childhood of twenty years ago, when as a six-year-old…" | Avoid Logorrhea: Having something between two and a dozen words pull the weight of one. EX "Thinking back on her past, she remembered her childhood of twenty years ago, when as a six-year-old…" |
| Avoid meaningless action: Mystery Science Theater is fond of making fun of directors who always show their actors pulling into a driveway, parking their car, getting out of the car, going to the door…same thing appears in flabby writing. | Avoid meaningless action: Mystery Science Theater is fond of making fun of directors who always show their actors pulling into a driveway, parking their car, getting out of the car, going to the door…same thing appears in flabby writing. |
| Avoid Throat Clearing: adding shocking or purposely provocative bits that don’t have to do with the plot or the trouble this character is about to encounter. | Avoid Throat Clearing: adding shocking or purposely provocative bits that don’t have to do with the plot or the trouble this character is about to encounter. |
| Beaming in: Readers get confused when characters, gear, and important features suddenly appear mid-scene. It’s one thing for Sam Spade to reach into his bottom desk drawer and pull out a cached bottle of whiskey, you’re showing where the object came from. It’s quite another for you to suddenly mention that there was a German bayonet war trophy in plain view atop the filing cabinet in the middle of a fist fight. | Beaming in: Readers get confused when characters, gear, and important features suddenly appear mid-scene. It’s one thing for Sam Spade to reach into his bottom desk drawer and pull out a cached bottle of whiskey, you’re showing where the object came from. It’s quite another for you to suddenly mention that there was a German bayonet war trophy in plain view atop the filing cabinet in the middle of a fist fight. |
| Consider a less stereotypical setting. | Consider a less stereotypical setting. |
| Don’t open the airlock! Soggy scenes that seems to take place in a vacuum. No sense of time, place, no indication that anyone has a history or is concerned with anything other than what’s on the protagonist’s mind that very second. Establish a time and place, even if it’s just "midnight at the oasis," before or as you start the action! And remember, everyone in the story has problems of their own. | Don’t open the airlock! Soggy scenes that seems to take place in a vacuum. No sense of time, place, no indication that anyone has a history or is concerned with anything other than what’s on the protagonist’s mind that very second. Establish a time and place, even if it’s just "midnight at the oasis," before or as you start the action! And remember, everyone in the story has problems of their own. |
| More is Less: Quality, not quantity. A single arresting image can be more horrifying than a page full of splatter. This also goes for heroics, landscaping, and descriptions of boobs. | More is Less: Quality, not quantity. A single arresting image can be more horrifying than a page full of splatter. This also goes for heroics, landscaping, and descriptions of boobs. |
| Pain don’t hurt: Flat descriptions about someone’s emotional state bring tears from editors, not readers. You can’t just say "His accusation made her feel bad." Describe the feeling bad through images or actions. Did her face heat up with shame, or did it cause ice to form in her gut, or did she flee to the bathroom and sob into her scarf? | Pain don’t hurt: Flat descriptions about someone’s emotional state bring tears from editors, not readers. You can’t just say "His accusation made her feel bad." Describe the feeling bad through images or actions. Did her face heat up with shame, or did it cause ice to form in her gut, or did she flee to the bathroom and sob into her scarf? |
| Too often we sets up what the protagonist has to accomplish at the beginning and sticks to that right to the end.Let events move the goalposts. It allows the character to discover what she or the world really needs, rather than what was thought at the beginning. Remember, Frodo didn’t set out from Bag End thinking he’d have to go to Mount Doom, he was just trying to get the ring out of the Shire and meet Gandalf. Objectives and rewards change with the character and situation. Ex: Run Lola Run. | Too often we sets up what the protagonist has to accomplish at the beginning and sticks to that right to the end.Let events move the goalposts. It allows the character to discover what she or the world really needs, rather than what was thought at the beginning. Remember, Frodo didn’t set out from Bag End thinking he’d have to go to Mount Doom, he was just trying to get the ring out of the Shire and meet Gandalf. Objectives and rewards change with the character and situation. Ex: Run Lola Run. |